#BeKindToOneAnother

Part of my resolutions this year was to do more ‘kind things’ because apparently, doing nice things for other people makes you feel more positive about yourself because you’ve made someone happy. I like making people happy and I am striving to be happier in my daily life. So, here are two things that I did in January to achieve that.

Galentine’s Day stems from the creative geniuses behind Parks and Recreation. It’s a day to celebrate your female friends, commemorated annually on February 13. Last year, I made joke-Vday cards but I decided to make slightly more meaningful ones this year, with backgrounds ripped from my old Lilly Pulitzer planner. While some managed to reach on the day itself, or slightly before, some arrived a day or two later, while a couple did not make it at all 🤷‍♀️; foiled by the postal service.

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Another fun project was taking 21 photos from the bottom of the KLCC Twin Towers for the Love Across Distances project. It’s where you help someone take a photo of a sentence, typically ” (insert name of significant other), (person who requested it)’s love for you is so big it has reached (location where you’re taking the photograph).” So a few weeks ago, I dropped by the KL Twin Towers really early took the photos and left in in the span of 15 minutes. Here’s an example of how it turned out:

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While both projects were really fun to do in January, I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to do that again in the upcoming years. We’ll have to see. I hope you had a nice Galentine’s +/- Valentine’s Day!

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Happy Galentine’s Day

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I have always had daring, brave women in my life and thankfully, the media has provided wonderful role models for me growing up. I thank Parks and Recreation for introducing me to the concept of Galentine’s Day because it’s important to celebrate the women in your life.

I am thankful for each and every woman who has been a part of making me the person I am today, for being patient with my temperament, for being inspirational and kindly. Thank you for your love, thank you for your friendship, thank you for presence in my life.

I love you all dearly.

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It is a Sunday, I’m in Starbucks, I’m watching a Hallmark movie (Love on the Air) on my laptop because I genuinely like it. It’s a well written one and not saccharine sweet, but cute enough to be comforting.

I’m not 100% well. Somehow, I’ve developed a sore soft palate again. This is horrible. My body has built up enough tolerance to Melbourne, and is now rejecting it. Hahaha. I’m glad no Australian is actually reading this. But if there is, I am sorry for the insult, I don’t really mean it, I’m just homesick, physically sick, and seriously craving a nice bowl of pork noodles.

I am so done with being sick. It’s so freaking annoying.

I went out on Friday with a group of friends as it was a public holiday. We went to Yarra Valley, had a wine tasting session, a cheese tasting session and popped by a chocolate factory before heading back to the city for dinner and a stop at a board game place. It was with mish-mash of people I don’t normally hang out with and it provided for interesting conversation. I forget how different my normal associations are in comparison to the ones I spent time with in the last two days. Not necessarily a bad thing because it’s always good to mix with different people.

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In relation (and not quite) to that (because this is partly inspired by something brought up in one of the older episode of the Gilmore Guys podcast), I have been thinking about chemistry between people. I have a question for you, dear reader: When is chemistry between two people consider romantic?

Is all chemistry considered romantic?

Is it when you start to wonder? Is it when your other friends start pointing it out and asking questions?

Can chemistry be platonic? Or is the negation of that the reason for the ‘men and women cannot be purely friends’ rule?

Where is the line that tells you that compatibility is not purely friendship? Any TV show illustrates this situation with the whole ‘oh, we’re just friends’ thing before that turns into the two people going out/eventually getting married/breaking up a season down the road.

I believes that all friendships are based on good chemistry between two individuals because you have to be able to connect with someone at some level. But when is chemistry.. ‘chemistry’?

Answer me that, dear reader. I’m quite curious to hear what you think.

It is now October 2nd and Daylight Savings in Australia, which puts me 3 hours ahead of home. Oh, home. I am 24 days away.

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I can deal with 24. I think.

Have a great week ahead, lovelies! x

EDIT– here’s what Lydia has to say about it, and since I cannot put pictures in comments, I’m gonna put a screenshot of it here:


 

if we can’t be friends

loveI have never been in a romantic relationship. I have never been kissed. I have never had the attention span to bother trying hard enough to get into a relationship. Yes, I am 22 and single.

What I’m writing about here is something I thought about while watching TV with my housemate the other day. It was an episode of Rising Star (first time I’ve ever seen it) and the contestant was a guy who just got married. He said “I am so happy to be married to my best friend,” to which my housemate went “Whattttttttt?”

Well, to him having your wife/significant other as your best friend is unthinkable.

“Why would you marry your best friend?”

“Why not? Isn’t it good that his wife is his go-to person?”

“It’s weird.”

I didn’t know what to say after that. I have always believed that love should stem from solid friendship. Maybe that’s just me. I always like books where the romantic pairing started out as good friends (Anne Shirley and Gilbert Blythe, Emma and Mr. Knightley, Ron and Hermione). There is nothing more stable than a foundation built on friendship, at least in my opinion. How can your partner in life not be your partner in crime? Would you want the person you come home to be the number one person you want to share everything with?

The title of this post “How can we be lovers if we can’t be friends?”, that famous Michael Bolton song, doesn’t that make sense? Isn’t it better to be friends with the one you love?

Friends choose each other because of common beliefs or similarities in backgrounds or taste. Doesn’t it work the same way for love? I have never been in love, so I can’t say for sure. But to those of you who are in relationships, is your significant other your best friend or .. well, something else? Do you think it is necessary for friendship to be a basis of a relationship?

No, seriously. I want to know. Please comment!

 

Dating advice from the perpetually single me

The allure of the complete arse to a woman is something that’s been recognised and well documented throughout the centuries. Case in point: Mr. Darcy from Pride and Prejudice and maybe even real-life “bad boy” Prince Harry. Women are attracted to, for the lack of a more appropriate word, douche-bags. Every other movie or romance novel, is about a girl who goes after a guy who’s kind of a jerk or stand off-ish, but he changes for her. Or he has this back story about being “broken” or had a “abusive past”. Sometimes, he’s just a scumbag through and through.

But in all circumstances, well, most anyway, the girl falls for him, gets her heart slightly beaten up only to have him fall in love with her in the end. 

Such bullshit.

In real life, assholes remain assholes. And they don’t ever change. They manipulate you to believing that they’ve change because for some weird reason, you believe in them. They hold you in their clutches because they know your ultimate weakness is them. They lie to you, they pull wool over your eyes, convincing you that “deep down, they’re sweethearts”.

Nope. Don’t buy that.

If a guy is a jerk but you fall for him, don’t think he’ll change. If he was a tool beforehand, it’s likely that that nature will never leave him. No, I’m not speaking of having a bad day, I’m speaking about the guy who’s chronically a douche-bag.

If you are unfortunate enough to marry this guy, you’re in for a lifetime of misery. He’ll control you and he’ll break you, making you completely reliant on him. That’s the way he can make sure you never leave. He’ll do his best to alienate you from your friends and family, and maybe even make you quit your job. He hardly ever is nice to you. He may not physically hit you but the mental scars remain.

In the end, you’ll either die, stuck in miserable marriage or relationship, OR you’ll be lucky enough to have people who do their best to get you out of the situation.

Ladies, don’t date the bad boy. Again, I mean the chronically bad ones. Not the irritating guys who just don’t phrase sentences well. Not the ones who make the lamest jokes or argue with you over which superhero is the best. Not even the ones who just like fast cars or bikes, and wear leather jackets because they think they look cool [they usually do]. Bad boys are the ones who may look completely debonair but are snakes deep down, and you know they are: you just think you can change them.

It’s not worth it. Love someone who genuinely cares about you, who genuinely supports you. Someone you don’t feel like you need to change. Maybe you’d ask him to wear different shoes, but not have the need to give him a personality makeover. 

Spare yourself the hurt and find a nice guy. Nice guys may finish last, but they’re in it for the long run.

a moment of weakness

I wonder what it’s like to fall in love. Haha I know. It’s funny for me to write this because it’s not in my nature to speak of such things. But blame a friend of mine for influencing me into watching You’ve Got Mail. And that movie (!) is the ultimate romantic comedy.

Really though, what is it like to fall in love? I’ve never been in love. I’ve thought that I was in love but those were silly crushes that simply broke me into pieces. No,I don’t know what love is; romantic love, that is. I’ve always wondered what it was like to be able to feel so much for a person, to enjoy just sitting in their company and having endless conversations. To want to be with someone so much that it hurts to be away from them. I don’t know. I have friends who have fallen in and out of love. Some have broken hearts, other have had their hearts broken. Me? No.. never had that, and I doubt I ever will.

You see, I don’t know how to open myself up to someone. It’s such a foreign concept to me. I was brought up to be independent, to put any romantic notions on the back burner. Funny, how living that way for so long could make you not know how to open up to a possibility. I’m the sort of person, like I’ve mentioned in the last rant-y post, who never shuts up and acts inanely. I can be super cranky, I can be super giddy. I fluctuate between moods like a sphere in Newton’s Cradle. I’m mean, I’m sharp with my words. I’m a far nicer person online than I am in person. I am in no way physically attractive, in fact I’m quite repulsive. Hahaha. If I feel threatened, I clam up. If I feel shy, I snap, I get harsh with my actions and words. It’s stupid. It’s a defense mechanism.

You see, that’s why I’ll never make someone happy. I’m not programmed to; not conditioned to. You know how you have your best friends telling you that “you’re wonderful. someone WILL fit you just right.”. I doubt that is the case with me. I laugh it off usually but it does kill my soul a little to know that I was born a spinster. I’ll have the many many many dogs that I’ve always wanted and spend time in bookstores where characters cannot desert me.

So, dear reader, I have to ask you: Have you been in love? Are you in love? If the answer is ‘yes’ to either question, please tell me what it’s like. I’d dearly like to know. Have pity on a poor spirit who has been denied this chance. My thanks in advance.

oh please Grace, how old are you again?