Female friendships have been so spoken about in the past few years that this post feels kinda contrived. And I’m the one writing it. There isn’t much I can say that has not been said already.
Except that I am suffering from FOMO, big time.
With Taylor Swift’s giant squad of girlfriends (I am pretty sure people created the whole ‘#squadgoals’ around her, correct me if I’m wrong), there is this desperate need to find a bunch of girls you want to hang out with a lot.
I love the concept. I used to have a good group of girlfriends when I was in high school and for a few years after we graduated, we did meet up and talk. It was this nice bubble of being in A-levels (which I loved! I had my favourite bunch of classmates ever) and still having good friendships from Form 5, that (back then) stood the ‘test of time’.
I used to have a good group of girlfriends when I was in high school and for two years after we graduated, we did meet up and talk. It was this nice bubble of being in A-levels (which I loved! I had my favourite bunch of classmates ever) and still having good friendships from Form 5, that appeared to stand the test of time.
Note: these are the girls I shared a class with for a few years, girls that I spoke to on a daily basis. Not the
circle of friends “cult” I was part of because that is a story for never.
Fast forward to 5 years after high school and I think the last time I got together with a group of friends like that, was during my second term in A-levels. It’s so sad that this is where I am in life.
I am pretty sure the problem is me. I know people in medical school who have ‘squads’ and I am honestly pretty envious of that. I wish I could easily befriend people the same way. I don’t do the whole ‘get together’ at the end of the semester, ‘go away for a holiday in a big group’ thing.
Sure, while I envy them, I would not actually fit into their groups because of how different we are as people, and that’s okay. Because I don’t drink, or go to clubs, or keep up with the latest fashion (I know things, but I cannot tell you which exact collection something is from), it puts me at a disadvantage [disclaimer: there is nothing wrong with any of that!) But I cannot help but feel that jealousy that just bubbles up inside me each time they post a picture or talk about their fun times other.
“FOMO”, I know.
But here’s some positivity.
The wonders of the Internet has help provide me with the chance to meet really amazing people from the opposite side of the globe that I can breathe around. I never thought I would have 3 hour video calls with people I have never met in person. Thank you to the inventors of the Internet for this gift of meeting people. I just wish these people were in the same vicinity, and time zones were not a real issue.
I am a relatively self-sufficient person but as John Donne said, ‘no man is an island’, we are part of a whole continent. I do feel that need for people that I can sit with and gab about life, family, relationships (or lack there of, amirite?), stress, work, whatever.
And I don’t even need a huge posse.
Although 2015 was ‘the year of the #squad’, I don’t need that. I just feel this need to have a small group of people that I can talk to, people I get really excited to see/chat with. I have lost that over the years and it’s very sad.
I don’t know if any of this makes sense. I think this is my way of acknowledging that I don’t have that many friends. Crap.
okay, rant over.