#BeKindToOneAnother

Part of my resolutions this year was to do more ‘kind things’ because apparently, doing nice things for other people makes you feel more positive about yourself because you’ve made someone happy. I like making people happy and I am striving to be happier in my daily life. So, here are two things that I did in January to achieve that.

Galentine’s Day stems from the creative geniuses behind Parks and Recreation. It’s a day to celebrate your female friends, commemorated annually on February 13. Last year, I made joke-Vday cards but I decided to make slightly more meaningful ones this year, with backgrounds ripped from my old Lilly Pulitzer planner. While some managed to reach on the day itself, or slightly before, some arrived a day or two later, while a couple did not make it at all 🤷‍♀️; foiled by the postal service.

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Another fun project was taking 21 photos from the bottom of the KLCC Twin Towers for the Love Across Distances project. It’s where you help someone take a photo of a sentence, typically ” (insert name of significant other), (person who requested it)’s love for you is so big it has reached (location where you’re taking the photograph).” So a few weeks ago, I dropped by the KL Twin Towers really early took the photos and left in in the span of 15 minutes. Here’s an example of how it turned out:

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While both projects were really fun to do in January, I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to do that again in the upcoming years. We’ll have to see. I hope you had a nice Galentine’s +/- Valentine’s Day!

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Happy Galentine’s Day

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I have always had daring, brave women in my life and thankfully, the media has provided wonderful role models for me growing up. I thank Parks and Recreation for introducing me to the concept of Galentine’s Day because it’s important to celebrate the women in your life.

I am thankful for each and every woman who has been a part of making me the person I am today, for being patient with my temperament, for being inspirational and kindly. Thank you for your love, thank you for your friendship, thank you for presence in my life.

I love you all dearly.

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It is a Sunday, I’m in Starbucks, I’m watching a Hallmark movie (Love on the Air) on my laptop because I genuinely like it. It’s a well written one and not saccharine sweet, but cute enough to be comforting.

I’m not 100% well. Somehow, I’ve developed a sore soft palate again. This is horrible. My body has built up enough tolerance to Melbourne, and is now rejecting it. Hahaha. I’m glad no Australian is actually reading this. But if there is, I am sorry for the insult, I don’t really mean it, I’m just homesick, physically sick, and seriously craving a nice bowl of pork noodles.

I am so done with being sick. It’s so freaking annoying.

I went out on Friday with a group of friends as it was a public holiday. We went to Yarra Valley, had a wine tasting session, a cheese tasting session and popped by a chocolate factory before heading back to the city for dinner and a stop at a board game place. It was with mish-mash of people I don’t normally hang out with and it provided for interesting conversation. I forget how different my normal associations are in comparison to the ones I spent time with in the last two days. Not necessarily a bad thing because it’s always good to mix with different people.

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In relation (and not quite) to that (because this is partly inspired by something brought up in one of the older episode of the Gilmore Guys podcast), I have been thinking about chemistry between people. I have a question for you, dear reader: When is chemistry between two people consider romantic?

Is all chemistry considered romantic?

Is it when you start to wonder? Is it when your other friends start pointing it out and asking questions?

Can chemistry be platonic? Or is the negation of that the reason for the ‘men and women cannot be purely friends’ rule?

Where is the line that tells you that compatibility is not purely friendship? Any TV show illustrates this situation with the whole ‘oh, we’re just friends’ thing before that turns into the two people going out/eventually getting married/breaking up a season down the road.

I believes that all friendships are based on good chemistry between two individuals because you have to be able to connect with someone at some level. But when is chemistry.. ‘chemistry’?

Answer me that, dear reader. I’m quite curious to hear what you think.

It is now October 2nd and Daylight Savings in Australia, which puts me 3 hours ahead of home. Oh, home. I am 24 days away.

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I can deal with 24. I think.

Have a great week ahead, lovelies! x

EDIT– here’s what Lydia has to say about it, and since I cannot put pictures in comments, I’m gonna put a screenshot of it here:


 

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I am flying home in 73 days. I changed my flight to 1.10am on a Thursday because we’re allowed to leave after the Wednesday of the last week. Yes 1.10am is a little absurd but the earlier I leave the better. hah.

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It’s my birthday tomorrow, and I turn 24. Whoopdeedoo. I don’t have any plans for tomorrow. I have this workshop in the evening and I’m hoping to weasel a dinner with the people I know who’ll be attending it, too. I don’t mean I want them to pay for my dinner, it would just be nice to spend my birthday with someone, and not alone. I’ve had most of this weekend being alone, and I assure you, I have done some stupid-emotional-wreck crying on buses and trains. It’s so stupid that spending my birthday without my family makes me this upset.

This week was my first in geriatrics and I actually like it. The patients are often amusing, as terrible as that sounds. The resident and registrar I’m with are quite nice, though I think the consultant has not warmed up to me at all. Win some, lose some, haha.

I went to the Melbourne Zoo by myself on Saturday and that wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be. I took loads of photos and stared as long as I wanted to at as many animals as I saw fit. I made it a point to make sure I walked through the whole place.

I watched Avenue Q with a friend and honestly, it was more amusing and a better time than Funny Girl. I feel kinda bad saying that, but I liked it better. I guess it did resonate better with me because it was more about ‘failing to adult’, and ended without much resolution about that main plot thread. I liked it a lot.

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Anyway, I’m missing my best friends more than ever tonight. As usual, being here does nothing else but remind me of those I love most in the world and how much I miss them. Here’s to family, and friends that are family, to those who love us despite how shitty human beings we can be- you are the best thing in my life. ❤️

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Happy Birthday to me!

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Fear Of Missing Out

Female friendships have been so spoken about in the past few years that this post feels kinda contrived. And I’m the one writing it. There isn’t much I can say that has not been said already.

Except that I am suffering from FOMO, big time.

With Taylor Swift’s giant squad of girlfriends (I am pretty sure people created the whole ‘#squadgoals’ around her, correct me if I’m wrong), there is this desperate need to find a bunch of girls you want to hang out with a lot.

I love the concept. I used to have a good group of girlfriends when I was in high school and for a few years after we graduated, we did meet up and talk. It was this nice bubble of being in A-levels (which I loved! I had my favourite bunch of classmates ever) and still having good friendships from Form 5, that (back then) stood the ‘test of time’.

I used to have a good group of girlfriends when I was in high school and for two years after we graduated, we did meet up and talk. It was this nice bubble of being in A-levels (which I loved! I had my favourite bunch of classmates ever) and still having good friendships from Form 5, that appeared to stand the test of time.

Note: these are the girls I shared a class with for a few years, girls that I spoke to on a daily basis. Not the circle of friends “cult” I was part of because that is a story for never.  

Fast forward to 5 years after high school and I think the last time I got together with a group of friends like that, was during my second term in A-levels. It’s so sad that this is where I am in life.

I am pretty sure the problem is me. I know people in medical school who have ‘squads’ and I am honestly pretty envious of that. I wish I could easily befriend people the same way. I don’t do the whole ‘get together’ at the end of the semester, ‘go away for a holiday in a big group’ thing.

Sure, while I envy them, I would not actually fit into their groups because of how different we are as people, and that’s okay. Because I don’t drink, or go to clubs, or keep up with the latest fashion (I know things, but I cannot tell you which exact collection something is from), it puts me at a disadvantage [disclaimer: there is nothing wrong with any of that!) But I cannot help but feel that jealousy that just bubbles up inside me each time they post a picture or talk about their fun times other.

“FOMO”, I know.

But here’s some positivity.

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The wonders of the Internet has help provide me with the chance to meet really amazing people from the opposite side of the globe that I can breathe around. I never thought I would have 3 hour video calls with people I have never met in person. Thank you to the inventors of the Internet for this gift of meeting people. I just wish these people were in the same vicinity, and time zones were not a real issue.

I am a relatively self-sufficient person but as John Donne said, ‘no man is an island’, we are part of a whole continent. I do feel that need for people that I can sit with and gab about life, family, relationships (or lack there of, amirite?), stress, work, whatever.

And I don’t even need a huge posse.

Although 2015 was ‘the year of the #squad’, I don’t need that. I just feel this need to have a small group of people that I can talk to, people I get really excited to see/chat with. I have lost that over the years and it’s very sad.

I don’t know if any of this makes sense. I think this is my way of acknowledging that I don’t have that many friends. Crap.

okay, rant over.

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How do you say goodbye?

I’ve been thinking a lot about endings lately. It can’t be helped because 2015 is ending, and lots of other things have reached their expiration date around me.

Almost two weeks ago, a friend told me her relationship was coming to a close. A few days ago, another friend lost her cat. Shows that I adore are ending permanently, and in a way, 2016 marks the start of my journey into working life.

Endings come too fast sometimes.

How do you deal with the conclusion to things? I, for one, don’t quite like things to finish. I know it’s part of life, but I’m not the type to let go easily. I pick at the scab on my heart, letting it bleed anew. I don’t like it when school is over, I don’t like it when my favourite fictional people finally go away, I don’t like leaving places I have grown attached to.

I still think about friendships that have ended a long time ago, I think about the ‘might have been’s’. I think about the pets I have lost, heck I still cry over them. I think about the people I have had to say goodbye to, be it because they have physically left this planet, or because they chose to exit ‘stage left’ out of my life.

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I am not good at goodbyes. I don’t like them and I doubt I ever will. But I try to keep in mind that sometimes a ‘goodbye’ is the only way forward. Sometimes, the only way for something new to start, is for something else to end, as the saying goes.

Still, it’s never easy. Not for me, at least.

Guide to making friends with me

Since you are reading this, it is more than likely that you are already a friend of mine, be it in ‘real life’ or something I have met through the world wide web. Hello to you! But if there is a tiny possibility that we are not actually friends, here’s how it’s normally done.

Please note that in no way do I assume that you would actually want to be friends with me. Perhaps you stumbled on this by mistake and would like to be redirected to the previous page. Please move your cursor to the top left and look for the left pointing arrow.

Unless you are compelled to stay, to which I bid you welcome.

Also, this list is not the be-all and end-all of becoming my friend. It’s just an easy opener. Heck, if you talk to me and we get along, we’re friends. I don’t think I have ever ‘turned down an offer of friendship’. That’s just weird.

  1. Be stuck in a group project with me
    I have made a lot of friends because I have ended up in preassigned groups. Some of my good friends are people I met in Year 2 of medical school because we were made to go to a particular women’s shelter every week as part of our curriculum. It’s easy to make friends when you’re all dreading that same weekly train ride when you’d all rather be studying. Nothing against that particular women’s shelter/orphanage, but there was hardly anything we needed to do: the women were already happy and had their own routines.
  2. Appreciate the same books, shows, musicals or movies I do
    If you want to freak out about how much you LOVE Hamilton, I’m your girl. I think I have made most, if not all, my Tumblr/Twitter friends via our common love for a form of ‘art/entertainment’. It’s nice to discuss theories or speculate about spoilers with someone.
  3. Be the new kid
    I’m weird, I like to make friends with the ‘new people’. It’s a habit I picked up because I was usually the ‘new kid’. I have made it my life’s mission to always befriend the new person because it is never easy, nor is it fun when you feel like the alien. Whether or not you choose to hang out with me after that is up to you, but you’ll always have this girl as your friend.
  4. Find me funny
    I am no Tina Fey but I can crack a joke. Or say something remotely witty, at times. I have relatively good comedic timing. Only just a few days ago, I was retweeted and ‘liked/favourited/whatever Twitter calls it now’ when I posted this as a response to the LUCIFER IS COMING Worldwide trend (FYI: Supernatural -the TV show- was having Lucifer in that particular episode later that day, hence the fandom going wild)Screen Shot 2015-12-10 at 4.22.48 PM
    So yes, find me funny, and I’m highly likely to be friends with you. Because if you find my jokes funny, I’m probably on the same wavelength.
  5. Be the person who goes the extra mile
    I do this thing where I try my best to become friends with someone who is apparently hardworking or strives more than the average, because I want to emulate that. I’m more attracted to those sort of people, which is why most, if not all my crushes, are usually the ‘smart boys’. But even on a platonic level, I am more likely to want to hang out with you if you’re the type to want to go to the library and study. Basically, I need someone to motivate me.
  6. Know something that most people wouldn’t
    It doesn’t have to be book-smarts. You may be very interested and know a lot about ballet or wars or planes. I may not care about the same subject, but I automatically want to befriend you if you know more about something out of the blue, like the Prohibition!
  7. Have a dog
    If you love dogs like I love dogs, we are 50% more likely to become friends. If you can cry over how worried you are over your dog, yes, that’s definitely a bridge that unites us.
  8. Be a good friend to a friend of mine
    This one is tricky. If you’re a good friend to a good friend of mine, it can go either way: I may dislike you because I can get jealous OR I may like you because you were there when I couldn’t be. Also, befriending you will help negate the feelings of jealousy.

Okay, that’s all I could come up with right now. Applications for friendship are now open. I can assure you, I am very much the Dwight of friendships. I will end a person for you, if necessary. Or at least, help you hide the body.

Okay, screw that. If you’re up for murdering someone, we will have to weight the pros and cons of the situation first.

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