Good Reads?

I resolved to read 25 books this year and so far, I’ve read five. That’s not that much but I’ve been struggling through books. Unfortunately, I have some books on my to-read list that don’t quite jump out at me. But I’m determined to muddle through.


Here is what I’ve gotten through in the last two months:


Three out of those books fall under the category of ‘feminist literature’- they were interesting reads, to say the least. While all three women are heavy-weights in the Feminist Movement arena, reading these books remind me of the importance of intersectional feminism, and how each of us has our own definitions of what it means to carry that label.

Did I agree with everything they wrote? No. Did these books kick my ‘spirit into high gear’? No. For me, these books are compilations of raw and honest essays that provide more ‘food for thought’ in areas I can relate to. These books keep the conversation going and I think that’s the biggest takeaway.

The other two were easier reads, thankfully. The David Nicholls book was turned into a movie many years ago, starring Anne Hathaway and Jim Sturgess. I read it on the plane ride to Miri and I found it quite enjoyable. Weirdly enough, I like David Nicholls’s other book, ‘Us’, better than this one. Still a good read in the end. I may watch the movie 🤷‍♀️

I bought My Not So Perfect Life because I wanted something light and fun, and Sophie Kinsella typically delivers on that front. It’s a chick-lit book that Kinsella fans would enjoy. I liked it. Sure, the plot got a bit too convenient towards the end, but that’s kinda what you expect from her work, so it doesn’t ‘disappoint’.

I am always happy to click READ on GoodReads and see the bar on the side move forward. I’m ‘2 books ahead of schedule’ for my 25, so that’s nice.

I hope you’re getting along with your resolutions this year, and if you’re reading anything particularly scrumptious, I’m up for recommendations. That is, once I’ve finished the other four books I have on my list.


Unwanted ___ shot


So that happened.

And while I stand by the fact that I’ve seen a lot of penises, and shoved catheters in them, getting a picture of someone’s genitals, elicited a ‘really, person? really?’ response from me.

As a female in this century, I am not surprised that I got dick pic. I got texts for a few days in a row from some random guy last year insisting that I ‘speak to him just because’, so this year, I’ve been upgraded to a visual harassment. I’ve ‘levelled up’ in the worst way possible.

Tonnes of women are sexually harassed on a daily basis be it in person, via social media, or any form of communication. Anna Akana made a whole video about it. I don’t know if anyone could possibly want a picture of an erect penis? What does the person sending it, think I will say?

I don’t know if anyone could possibly want a picture of an erect penis? What did the person sending it, expect from me?

An equally ‘in your face’ picture of my vagina? Do they want a ‘thank you’? Do they require some validation of their junk? Am I suppose to be so thrilled by a picture of his privates that I would call him?

Or is it the thrill of simply shocking a person? Do people get off on causing revulsion in other people? The same way the flasher that ‘dropped trou’ in front of my mom a few years ago laughed when my mom gasped in surprise, I’m guessing people who send unwanted dick pics find it humorous. Or possibly even empowering for them. The same ways rapists often start out as arsonists. It’s the power trip of being able to violate someone.

I dare you to defend someone who sends a picture of their privates to a stranger who did not ask for it. If anyone can tell me the logic behind this decision, do tell! I’m dying to know.

I am so tempted to send back ‘lol’ or ‘is that it?’ or ‘k’  (suggested by Rae) but I don’t want to continue this conversation with this person. As a rapist of my phone (because I have a penis where I don’t want it), he does not deserve a direct reply from me.


Dear 016 8720349, I didn’t like that picture. No one’s penis is worth photographing, in my opinion, and there will never be a day that I’d want a picture of a penis on my phone. Unless you’re a cadaver and you’re willing to let me slice up your ‘parts’ for a lesson in ‘real’ anatomy, I am not interested.

And honestly, I doubt you will find a single female (or male! for that matter) who is.


excuse you

There are few things in life that send me absolutely berserk.

Last night, on our way to church, the two guys my housemate and I go with were talking about how tough their rotation currently is and how doctors who specialise in Obstetrics and Gynaecology tend to not get married young, or at all. They kept going on about how women should marry young, and that it’s okay for men to get married at an older age. One of them said, “It’s worse for women la, cause unlike for men when they’re over 35, our worth goes up.” [yes, structurally, that sentence is not quite sound, but I think you can deduce what it was suppose to convey] That set me of a bit.

“Excuse me, how sexist is that!”

“What do you mean ‘sexist’, Grace??”

“You just said that men are ‘worth’ more than women once they’re over 35.”

“I’m just stating facts. You know what I mean..”

“No, I don’t. Please explain.”

“I don’t want to explain. You’re just gonna get mad.” “Yeah, Grace, you’re so sensitive today. Mood swings, irritability.. hehe”

I refused to speak to them for the next few hours. Number 1: you just implied that a woman is worth less than a man once they hit over 35. Number 2: you are implying that I’m irritated purely because I’m ‘PMS-ing’. Number 3: if you don’t think women are worth less than men, you could have said so. Or apologised. or retracted your statement.

It just annoys me so much that the ‘market value’ of a woman is relient on her age. It annoys me that society CARES about ‘market value’. It annoys me that as stated by my ‘fine’ colleagues, ‘men are worth more as they age’ as compared to women. That is utter rubbish. I cannot believe how bloodyminded some people are when it comes to things like this.

While I can understand that they’re only saying what society has conditioned them to think, it does not mean that they should think it. And to pull a low blow as to say that my irritation was because of my menstrual cycle.. that was beyond cheap.

Who cares if someone gets married below 30? [And before anyone bites my head off about this, I am not saying you should not get married/start a family before 30. Get married/ start a family at any point in time that works for you 🙌] Is it any of your business when a person decides to start a family? I acknowledge that pregnancies below 30 are safer, but does that imply that a woman is of less value just because she decides to put off procreation till she is above that age? Why does an older man have more appeal than an older woman? Just because a man is still functionally able to have kids at an age beyond 60 does not mean that he is of ‘better value’.

So, yes..