Spoiler Alert

Here’s something new to recognise:

Much to my detriment, I have always been the type of person who feels a bit too much. It is a gift and a curse to empathise too quickly, to feel emotions too deeply, to wear your heart on your sleeve.

It borders on ridiculous when I feel too much about fictional characters that are.. fictional. They are not real but to my mind’s eye, they’re flesh and blood.

All my favourite characters die.

Yes, that is an overstatement. But a good many die and I feel way too much over them. I cannot separate fact from fiction when I immerse myself in an art-form, be it books or stage or TV or movies. I feel for the characters a bit too much. It’s unhealthy, that’s for sure.

The Fox and the Hound was particularly scarring. Matthew Cuthbert dying on paper made me cry for a good hour. I actually use his death as a ‘tool for crying’ when I needed to be devastated on stage- which works because I do get teary. Dobby died. Fred Weasley died. Tibby Rollins died. Alternate Timeline Lincoln Lee died. Allison Argent died. Michael Cordero died.

And it’s not like I cry only when I watch the show. There’s a mourning period I go through, much like if I lost someone I loved in real life. I take it to the extreme.

While being part of a fandom on Tumblr does exacerbate this ‘condition’, it’s something I’ve ‘gone through’ even before I joined the damn site.

I hate that I cry so much over people who are not real. If I should psychoanalyse myself, maybe it does stem from something a vocal teacher told my mom once- that I could not sing with emotion because I was too young and I did not know how to feel the same sadness, or longing, or joy that the song required. So, maybe, to make up for my own lack of experience, I live vicariously through characters that are not real. I make their pain, the joy, their anger.. I make them all mine.

And that is very screwed up.

I don’t know where I’m going with this. Why can’t I just have ‘regular’ emotional ranges and not feel as much?

Food Metaphor

I do love my metaphors and I do love chocolate. So does Forrest Gump’s mom- and yes I know, the actual quote is “Life WAS like a box of chocolates”, but it makes sense to put it in present tense for my purposes.

Here’s the video of January, the first of the twelve 2017 ones I’m commited to making. I wanted to do a ‘real life’ video where I use actual M&M’s but the shots were quite shaky (don’t have a tripod!) and I couldn’t really get what I wanted smoothly. Also, I ate the M&M’s 🤷‍♀️

So what are the M&M’s suppose to be?

General life plans like getting into college, getting the right grades, getting into the ideal workplace, that sort of thing. Sometimes things go exactly as you planned them and those are great times. Other times, a little diversion is required because of a small hurdle but you get back on the path you chose. And then there are those paths that you have to create as you go along because you find that the original plan fell through completely, or you realised things were not what you expected them to be. Your Blue M&M turned out to be a Red one, and you cannot run from it, you embrace that step because it’s not too bad. It’s all a step forward and that’s always a good thing.

Do you get where I’m coming from?

Life is a like a box of chocolates in the sense that there are different flavours and different fillings. Not all of them are to your liking but they’re wholly bad. You just have to adjust your perspective.

Have a great weekend! And Happy Lunar New Year 🐓🎉

 

Inner Workings

About two weeks ago, I watched Moana with my parents. It was such a great film and naturally, I teared up a bunch of times. But I’m not here to talk about that; I want to talk about the short before the movie.

While I cannot link the short here, that’s the trailer.

It is a really good short:

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So, SPOILER ALERT, this is going to discuss the whole short. If you don’t want SPOILERS, stop reading. I don’t think spoilers will ruin your experience of watching it but if you want to play it safe, it’s best to stop.

As the trailer showed, the main character is not ‘alone’ per se. His brain and heart are ‘independent’ players in this constant battle. The main character’s heart wants to go out and spend time in the sun, eat food that’s not necessarily good for you, etc etc. The brain says ‘No. We go to work. We gotta do what we have to do. Responsibilities FTW’. So the heart gets bummed out and basically the character becomes ‘depressed’-ish.

He’s at his job. The brain is looking around he sees everyone in the same position, bent over their tables, doing their paperwork, basically robotic. His brain imagines the inevitable future of him being old and miserable, and doing the same job, being a robot all the way to the grave.

His heart’s not in it, in the most literal of senses, presented visually on the screen.

So his brain gives the reins (literally) back to his heart, so his heart can do what it wanted to do. He goes out, he has a ridiculous meal, he buys ridiculous sunglasses, he jumps into the sea.

He’s rejuvenated. He goes back to work. He’s enthusiastic. He finds joy in what he does, he makes it a bit of game. And the other people around him start to notice, and it’s infectious. They’re all out of their slump.

The movie then cuts to the credits where it shows the main character going out with his work friends, going on a date with the girl who sold him the ridiculous sunglasses etc etc. There’s even a gorgeous sunset.

But here’s the kicker.

That bit where his brain lets his heart do ‘whatever’, it’s not at a random time at work. It’s not like he left in the middle of the day. It was during his lunch break. And I love it for that.

The main character did not quit his job because he was unhappy. He did not ‘up and leave’ just because he was feeling like it.

He had fun in his free time. He used his free time for self care.

I thought it was really clever what the creators did. This is an excerpt from an interview they did.

Leo then went on to explain how one of his goals for the short was to reach those who aren’t at a job they’re happy with. “How do those people feel, you know? I really sympathize with them. And I think it’s a way – it’s a love letter for them. For them to have hope, but at the same time we have to be practical too,” he said. “So that’s why I think it’s ‘Inner Workings’, because the world as a whole doesn’t change. The character…because he changed, he ends up kind of – it’s contagious, he ends up kind of influencing the people around.” x

‘We have to be practical too’.

Self care is a phrase that gets thrown around a heck of a lot, especially in the past couple of years. When I first heard of it, I was reminded of Steven’s Covey’s ‘Seven Habits of Highly Successful People’, namely the seventh habit aka ‘Sharpening the Saw’. Steven Covey, the late famous motivational author and speaker, said that the seventh habit is highly important, citing the example of attempting to saw down a tree without taking time to sharpen your instrument- you’d be more successful if you had taken time in between to make sure the blade was in working order.

But he also says that it’s the seventh habit is seventh in line for a reason. It’s important, but it’s not the end all be all. The other habits ie: Being Proactive, Beginning With The End In Mind, Putting First Things First etc, those are very important, too and should not be neglected. The seventh habit is the most fun but you can’t spend all your time taking time off, because that’s no use to anyone, most especially yourself.

Which brings me back to the short:

The main character learned how to find a balance between doing a job that may not be your ‘100% interest in life’ and jumping into other things that you actually want to do, things your heart desires. Most of us do not have the luxury of being spontaneous all the time. It’s an odd concept, but we need to carve out time to be spontaneous, to do things that challenge us, or simply something enjoyable.

I’m not an expert in balance, clearly. But in my time in Melbourne, having a ‘sort of’ job, I learned how to make my week better by planning things for my free time. And that made the week more pleasant because there was something to look forward to. That gave me comfort.

If you have not seen Moana, do go watch it. It is visually appealing, definitely more intriguing and, in my opinion, a better movie than Frozen.

Oh, and watch the short that comes before it and really think about it. It gave me food for thought.

 

#Aesthetic

Over a week ago, a friend of mine posed a question to a few of us: If you were to put pictures that described your ‘aesthetic’, or like a mood board, what would be on it?

I couldn’t quite think of the right things at that moment but after careful overthinking, here’s what has come to mind. If I were to come up with a mood board of sorts, it would involve pictures of the following things:

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Happy Thanksgiving to the Americans!

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I just love seeing that number reduce. This is really the longest time that I’ve been away from home, ever. I still look forward to that flight home.

Last weekend was more enjoyable than I expected it to be. It was pretty fun just spending time with two friends who were also ‘alone’ for the weekend. We went for a walking-the-streets-of-Melbourne-tour of certain art pieces courtesy of BLINDSIDE Gallery. That same evening I watched I AM LEGEND (for the first time, though I knew the plot) hosted by The Walter and Eliza Hall Institute of Medical Research. The main reason I attended that was because of the panel after, which was a fun discussion about the potential of zombie apocalypses ,and the scientific accuracies and inaccuracies of the movie.

Sunday was a little quiet with a trip to the Hellenic Museum and then Victoria Market for waffles.

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I like weekends with not much pressure. Not everything has to be a massive event that requires 5 or 6-hour drives. I’m grateful for weekends where I can discover a side of this city with people who share the same interests as me.

Just 58 more sleeps and I’ll be back home. 12 week days till I’m done with this rotation. One day at a time.

 

Uteruses before Duderuses

A few weeks ago, instead of properly studying for my IELTS exams, I decided to make these and send them out to my favourite girls for Galentine’s/Valentine’s Day.

I am VERY GLAD to say that due to reasonable planning, most of them arrived before/on the due date, so it was fitting. But somehow post to Ireland always gets delayed, so two of them didn’t reach exactly on time.

For you to find them amusing, you’d have to actually know the joke. And I like to think I chose appropriate ones for the right people, or at least, chose the right jokes for the right girl. These aren’t meant to be romantic, they’re meant to make you laugh. And I hope they did.

Now all I have to do is think of how I’m going to ‘level up’ from this next year. 😂

 

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This is a Pride and Prejudice joke
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Also a Pride and Prejudice joke
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A joke from ‘It Happened One Night’
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The Hobbit joke
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a Star Wars joke
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You will only get this if you crazy stalk the Tom Hiddles tag on Tumblr
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Teen Wolf joke. Pretty funny in my head.