a kind lie

Everyone has their monsters. And it is selfish of me to pretend like no one else is fighting a battle within and without themselves.

When I came back two weeks ago, I was given some news that was completely unexpected and made my world shift. I don’t say that lightly, not like I have said it before. In the last post I spoke about pagan rituals, and how cursed I’ve been. That was complete bull compared to what I heard that Thursday. This was terrible, massive news that made me metaphorically hit myself over the head with how self-centered I’ve been. As much as I would say what it is, it is not my news to tell, and never will be. Why am I writing it here? Because I’d like to remember how I reacted when I look back in the future.

This was terrible, massive news that made me metaphorically hit myself over the head with how self-centered I’ve been. As much as I would like to say what it is, it is not my news to tell, and never will be.

Why am I writing it here? Because I’d like to remember how I reacted when I look back in the future.

There are some things you can tell someone over the phone, or over Skype, and then there are some things that you reserve for ‘face to face’ moments. This was one of those ‘face to face’ talks. I get why I was not told when I was in Australia, I get why it was held back. While the news was a few months old by the time I was informed, I could see that the impact it has had is still fresh.

Right now I’ve ‘graduated’ medical school with an unclear path ahead of me. I have a lot of time on my hands and I intend to use all this time properly. We get so little in retrospect and I’ve regretted a whole lot of things in my life, just this year, already.

The world is kinda upside down lately. This year has been tremendous in its chaos. But we should keep perspective of who we are as people, of what our values are, and work towards what we hope this world will be.

“You do not write your life with words…You write it with actions. What you think is not important. It is only important what you do.”
Patrick Ness, A Monster Calls

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