Late Night Chat

So for all technical purposes, i am wide awake on the plane. I’m not surprised. it’s slightly past 5.30am in Melbourne so my body clock thinks we should be awake. it’s a great thing have, this highly accurate biological clock. but it’s not great when you’re traveling on a plane, and you are going 3 hours backwards in time. i think it’ll take a while for me to adjust back to the normality of Malaysian timing.

I honestly am incapable of having a proper sleep if i am on plane. I don’t do well with not being in a proper bed. and having many other people somewhat in close proximity. i have three seats all to myself so i don’t have to worry about bugging other people, but me flipping open my laptop might have affected the guy across the aisle. He’s now fixing up his iPad to watch something. hey, more “company”.

The air steward noticed i was awake earlier (when I did not open my laptop up) and thought he had woken me up when he was taking out his luggage from the overhead compartment.

I think I have slept a total of slightly over two hours. My routine so far has been listening to an OST from a musical and hoping to doze off. I have slept between Never Ever Getting Rid of Me and You Matter To Me from Waitress, These Palace Walls and A Whole New World from Aladdin. I’ve got Kinky Boots playing right now and I doubt I’ll be going back to sleep. There’s a good four hours left on this flight.

I’m going to end up clacking away on the keyboard because I have nothing else to do.

I totally exhausting the battery life of my phone. I’m surprised it hasn’t died yet. 64% left. Seems about right, I guess.

Once Kinky Boots is done, I’ll move on to Hamilton.

The guy across the aisle is watching Gotham. I do have my external hard drive but I am not going to attempt to balance that over my lap and watch something. Maybe I should do a hard drive purge. That seems doable on a plane, right?

Nah, that would mean taking out the bag within the bag and rumagging through It looking for stuff which would result in waking up some oher people who have such a comfortable time in Slumberland. I don’t want to do that.

The staff in the airport weren’t very nice. I’m not the most pleasant person, but hey, service with a smile and some warmth is what we’re suppose to get right? I hate complaining about anything related to the ‘service industry’ because the people in it tend to get a lot of flack, but honestly, the staff in Malaysian airports actually smile at you. You don’t get a smile from the people in the Melbourne Airport. I had a few issues with luggage being overweight, then having to carry one bag as handcarry- and that bag having scissors in it causing me to be stopped-, then walking through the immigration section and ending up in the line with faulty machinery, so all of us had to ‘present ourselves’ to an immigration officer. Also, carrying that bag (which I’m pretty sure is almost 13kgs) was awful. I wish I had checked that one in, and then pulled the trolley bag.

I have made pretty shit decisions here.

Wait, not here, I’m not longer in Australia. I’m in international waters.

Australia and I have not gotten along too well a lot of the time. Thankfully, I have had no serious issues when it comes to my true purpose of being in the Land Down Under aka being in the hospital. Those minor personality clashes could be handled. All the other crap has not been ideal. It’s just terribly frustrating at times but thankfully, it’s over. I hope.

Once upon a time, I read that my horoscope for this year did not bode well, and while I roll my eyes at horoscopes, I wonder if my bout of bad luck throughout this year is actually related.

Guy across the aisle has fallen asleep but Gotham is still playing. It’s an old episode because Joker Is still alive. I’ve reached In This Corner in Kinky Boots. That’s the second song in Act 2. I’m very sure that I’ll end up listening to Hamilton soonish. Kinky Boots has a really good soundtrack, guys. You should look it up if you like musicals. Cindy Lauper did really well to make the songs very catchy and worked in all the messages the movie wanted to get across.

Okay, it’s the episode of Gotham where there’s a ball-type thing. I think it’s the episode that Joker dies. Guy across the aisle is totally out of it. I’m kinda jealous that he can do that.

Anyway, I wonder if I should actually look up ‘ways to lift a curse’ because I feel like that’s what I’m under. Where do I buy sage, guys? I think they sell that in the spice rack corner of the grocery store, right?

Ah, Soul of a Man is playing. Totally a good song. You really feel this one (and the next one) in your bones. I am resisting the temptation to sing out loud.

It’s the Alfred flirting with Jim Gordon’s girlfriend scene. That always makes me laugh. Poor Alfred.

I know I’m not suppose to believe in curses because that’s not a thing, but hey, I’m Asian and grew up in an Asian country, so rituals to ‘buang sial’ aka ‘getting rid of curses/bad luck’ are actual things. I am very tempted to do it. It’s kinda pagan-ish, but it’s also partly cultural. Maybe I should take a shower in holy water. Hah. Or just go to church, pray really hard, and carry out some weird pagan ritual as well.

Yes, yes, that sounds terrible and unChristian, but hey, I’m kinda desperate.

Hold Me in Your Heart is playing now and I can still see the performance in my head. This song gave me goosebumps. It’s all about acceptance and all that other mushy stuff which ties in so much with the production. Also, it sounds like a Whitney song so it adds to it.

Guy across the aisle is still asleep. Oh wait, he moved. I think he woke up. Maybe he felt me staring. I should stop staring at other people and keep my eyes on my glowing screen. The backlit keyboard on my laptop is the best thing right now. Three cheers for backlit keyboards.

Guy across the aisle turned off his iPad. He’s going back to sleep. Good choices, man.

Let Me Raise You Up is such a 70’s-80’s happy song that I just want to dance to it. I normally do that in my room when I listen to it. I’m one of those people who find it hard to not wiggle around when the song/beat is good. Crap, I’m doing the weird shoulder shimmy thing and the air steward gave me a smile. Thankfully all Hamilton does is make me attempt to rap along very badly.

Microsoft Word says I have written approximately 1200 words so far.

I watched Godspell on Tuesday night and it was pretty good. I forgot how campy that musical is. I still remember most of the words and the lyrics. I was the annoying cast member who knew everyone’s lines. I’m also the cast member who did not have great control of her emotions throughout rehersals.

Hamilton it is.

Yes, I am going to keep going for as long as I cannot come up with anything else to do. Has anyone seen the documentary Hamilton’s America? It’s ideal if you’ve been obsessed with the musical as I have been. Again, the eternal question of Am I ‘in love’ with Lin Manuel Miranda or do I want to BE Lin Manuel Miranda? The documentary further solidified the fact that there really isn’t a distinction between those two things for me.

It’s Thursday and it’s now 6.38am in Melbourne. I have about three hours more on this flight.

I am not completely free today. There’s a how to write a prescription exam at 2pm today and I’m going for it. It’s on campus so I’m going back to uni. I am not gonna lie, I’m kinda regretting that decision, but hey, it’s important to know how badly I don’t know how to prescribe anything for anyone.

Oh, yeah, I have one more week of “classes” and then I’m officially done with school. I am crazy intimidated by the future. I admit that my time in Australia has kinda showed me how working life would be like and though Malaysia will be 1000% more intense, it isn’t too bad. I think I can do it??? I get along with patients relatively well, I have developed the skill of writing notes during ward rounds really quickly. I have put in a bunch of IV lines, done an ABG, taken blood cultures, done catheters. I’m equipped in a way. But I know that I’m lacking in other departments- like prescribing for instance.

I am not throwin’ away my shot, I am not throwin’ away my shot

Eh, yo, I’m just like my country, I’m young, scrappy and hungry

There’s this guy who keeps walking around, but he’s dressed in normal clothes. He was able to get behind the counter when I checked in and spoke to the staff, so he’s either the Air Marshall or they have a weird system where they have crew members who don’t wear uniforms anymore for some reason.

Ooh, turbulence. Seatbelts on please.

Everyone is awake now. Poor people, forced out of slumber.


Work, Work


Work, Work


And Peggy

The Schuyler Sisters!

Look around, look around. Must be nice to be a part of something so phenomenal as Hamilton. Everyone knows your name, the opportunities opened for you. It must be absolute magic to be a part of it, to help create something so iconic.

In other news, I think I may actually go into psychiatry. After much consideration and looking at my time in the hospital, and my approach to patients, it’s not an unreasonable route. I’m not a surgeon, I’m not a pathologist. I would definitely be taking the medical path and not surgical at all. Year 5 has solidified that for me.

My favourite lines from Farmer Refuted:

My dog speaks more eloquently

But strangely your mange is the same


I pray the King shows you his mercy

Is he in Jersey?


What else should I write about?

My best friend is flying off to Germany tonight and the plan is to see her off because it’ll be a while before I see her in person again. It’s almost become cult tradition to go to the airport together. I’m probably going to be half asleep when we make our way over because it’ll be three hours behind, and I normally am ‘out of it’ at 10pm. Forgive me if I take a nap in the car, girls.

Back to Hamilton’s America, because now Right Hand Man is playing and it’s in relation to something Chris Jackson said about playing George Washington: as a half-Black man, Chris Jackson difficulty trying to reconcile Washington’s slave trading/owning with who he was as the first President and a great leader. We love to separate the good and the bad when it comes to history’s heroes. We often do the thing where we don’t associate the bad behaviour of our heroes with who they are to us. And the thing is, whatever bad they did does not reduce the amount of good they did do, but we need to remember that people are not black and white, or purely good or purely bad. There’s a reason we learn about the duality of man.

This comic was shared in a group chat a few days ago and while I relate to wanting to erase my own past at times, another thing that struck me is how I am quick to judge others and form firm opinions on them, and refuse to budge on those opinions despite years and years going by. There are people from high school that I still cringe to think about because of how much we could clash at times. I don’t know if I could talk to them now, or actually acknowledge their existence if I ever saw them in public. I may not always stalk people on facebook (heck, I’m not even friends with people I don’t get along with), I occasionally find myself thinking that “I cannot believe other people actually like this person”.

That’s pretty unkind, right? I find it difficult to separate their previous unkindness from their potential to be good to other people. Well, clearly, it’s not just potential, it’s actual ability. That’s another thing to work at- remembering that people are not the two dimensional charicatures of their true selves that live in mind.

John, should have shot him in the mouth, that would have shut him up

Oh, I guess I preordered food on this flight. I don’t remember doing that.

Leslie Odom Jr. is tremendous. Did you see his speech at the Tony’s when he won Best Lead Actor in a Musical? It gives me goosebumps. The first time I saw Leslie was in Smash where his character was sadly underused. His voice is pure gold. When he breaks over the This man will not make an orphan of my daughter, I can feel the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

It’s 7.27am Melbourne time. About two hours to go.

This has been 2290 words that’s pure rambling. I applaud you if you made it this far. I can never stay up late enough for those weird ‘3am talks’ that people have during sleepovers. Even when I share a room during school camps/ out of campus stuff/ trips elsewhere, we don’t stay up that long talking. I don’t know if that’s because we’re usually very tired because we typically are. But this very long post is a taste of how tangential my thoughts would be at a 3am talk.

You have no control

Who lives, who dies, who tells yours story

Guy across the aisle is playing some sort of quiz-game on the iPad with the person beside him. I like quiz games. I would have liked to play that. Oh well, he’s not written 4 pages in Microsoft Word, so in a way, my time was spent just as well. Haha.

We negotiate the terms of surrender

I see George Washington smile

I don’t know why but those lines give me goosies. Yorktown is such a good song. I’m glad that they chose to do it for the Tony’s.

The turbulence is getting to that weird point where you feel like your organs have not had time to keep up with the outer shell of skin and skeleton due to inertia.

Guy across the aisle and his friend have stopped playing and are now leaning back with their eyes shut. Maybe I’ll try to get some shut eye, too. Let’s see how long that lasts.

NOTE: I didn’t take out my laptop though I had lots of time after that. Headphones on and finished Act 2 of Hamilton. We landed at 5.50am and now I’m home.


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