Fear Of Missing Out

Female friendships have been so spoken about in the past few years that this post feels kinda contrived. And I’m the one writing it. There isn’t much I can say that has not been said already.

Except that I am suffering from FOMO, big time.

With Taylor Swift’s giant squad of girlfriends (I am pretty sure people created the whole ‘#squadgoals’ around her, correct me if I’m wrong), there is this desperate need to find a bunch of girls you want to hang out with a lot.

I love the concept. I used to have a good group of girlfriends when I was in high school and for a few years after we graduated, we did meet up and talk. It was this nice bubble of being in A-levels (which I loved! I had my favourite bunch of classmates ever) and still having good friendships from Form 5, that (back then) stood the ‘test of time’.

I used to have a good group of girlfriends when I was in high school and for two years after we graduated, we did meet up and talk. It was this nice bubble of being in A-levels (which I loved! I had my favourite bunch of classmates ever) and still having good friendships from Form 5, that appeared to stand the test of time.

Note: these are the girls I shared a class with for a few years, girls that I spoke to on a daily basis. Not the circle of friends “cult” I was part of because that is a story for never.  

Fast forward to 5 years after high school and I think the last time I got together with a group of friends like that, was during my second term in A-levels. It’s so sad that this is where I am in life.

I am pretty sure the problem is me. I know people in medical school who have ‘squads’ and I am honestly pretty envious of that. I wish I could easily befriend people the same way. I don’t do the whole ‘get together’ at the end of the semester, ‘go away for a holiday in a big group’ thing.

Sure, while I envy them, I would not actually fit into their groups because of how different we are as people, and that’s okay. Because I don’t drink, or go to clubs, or keep up with the latest fashion (I know things, but I cannot tell you which exact collection something is from), it puts me at a disadvantage [disclaimer: there is nothing wrong with any of that!) But I cannot help but feel that jealousy that just bubbles up inside me each time they post a picture or talk about their fun times other.

“FOMO”, I know.

But here’s some positivity.

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The wonders of the Internet has help provide me with the chance to meet really amazing people from the opposite side of the globe that I can breathe around. I never thought I would have 3 hour video calls with people I have never met in person. Thank you to the inventors of the Internet for this gift of meeting people. I just wish these people were in the same vicinity, and time zones were not a real issue.

I am a relatively self-sufficient person but as John Donne said, ‘no man is an island’, we are part of a whole continent. I do feel that need for people that I can sit with and gab about life, family, relationships (or lack there of, amirite?), stress, work, whatever.

And I don’t even need a huge posse.

Although 2015 was ‘the year of the #squad’, I don’t need that. I just feel this need to have a small group of people that I can talk to, people I get really excited to see/chat with. I have lost that over the years and it’s very sad.

I don’t know if any of this makes sense. I think this is my way of acknowledging that I don’t have that many friends. Crap.

okay, rant over.

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