It is funny that the biggest lesson for me this year was because of a quiz I took last week.
So, backtrack to last Wednesday when I was feeling kinda crappy and I needed time to breathe and do ‘whatever’. My huge decision to relax involved a trip to the mall, getting an iceblended drink and watching The Force Awakens, for the second time, alone.
I took this quiz when I was waiting for the movie to start, and it was like an epiphany. I read about the Enneagram test in Darling Magazine, so I took out my phone and looked it up, did all 14 pages of the quiz (it’s a dang long quiz), and I was surprised at how accurate it was.
I actually had this long conversation via voice messages with my friend Helen (because she’s obsessed with Personality Type quizzes, too) about it, because she took the quiz a while back and got different answers. but each time, she felt like the answers did not describe her accurately.
I have the opposite problem. It was literally me on a page. I got
I got Type 6 with wing 5 (which basically means, 5 was my second strongest type). Type 6 is The Loyalist, and if you read through that page, it describes me highly accurately.
” At the core of the type Six personality is a kind of fear or anxiety [… the fear rooted at the center of their personality, which manifests in worrying, and restless imaginings of everything that might go wrong.”
Um, yeah. That’s me.
“Sixes don’t trust easily; they are often ambivalent about others, until the person has absolutely proven herself, at which point they are likely to respond with steadfast loyalty.”
The loyalty of the Six is something of a two edged sword however, as Sixes are sometimes prone to stand by a friend, partner, job or cause even long after it is time to move on.
Okay. This quiz is scarily accurate for me. It’s creepy how accurate it is. I’m a ball of anxiety with trust issues, and a tendency to be very clingy to people or things.
Yup, that’s me.
Now, I’m not saying that this is a perfect excuse. I’m not going to go around saying [super Valley Girl voice ‘Oh my gosh, you can’t blame cause I’m, like, a Type 6, and like, I’m totally prone to not trusting people’. This was just a way of recognising what I am at my core.
I’m a worrier, and that’s just what I’ve always been. The way I was brought up has conditioned me to be this way, all the moving about, having to make friends quickly, having to leave them. The instability has made me more jumpy, more prone to panicking, and worrying about everything.
And while I have always known this, having it pop up in a quiz makes it more ‘concrete’ because it validates it.
So, next time I overthink something, or I freak out, I know better. I can actively pause that train of thought. Or I can acknowledge that I have weirdly high expectations of other people. Or I can learn to let things/people go because it’s ‘high time’ I did. Or I can learn to be more trusting of others.
I hope that by figuring this out now, it can help me going forward into the new year. I need to work on being better at controlling what’s going on in my head. I need to learn to not overreact and to manage my expectations wisely.
Hopefully it helps. And if you want to try it out, I hope it helps you, too.