Have you ever taken one of those quizzes online:’Who are you in your group of friends?’. It’s a thing, really. Google it.
There’ll be these answers like ‘The Cool Aunt’ or ‘The Little Sibling’ or ‘The Joker’ or ‘The Drama Queen’, that sort of thing. And there will typically be one that specifically means ‘The Mom’ role.
I have been constantly told that in a group of people, I automatically assume the role of ‘Mom’. I actually have a group of friends in medical school who call me Mom. It’s weird. But I guess it’s a compliment?
I’m seen as the more ‘responsible’ or ‘sane decision making’ one. I’m not complaining, I don’t mind the label. I guess I do take on that role because I get very protective over people. I’m the type to do that “soccer mom move” where you put your arm across the other person when you suddenly have to brake your vehicle. I think having a mom who always had a ‘mom’ role because she grew up as the oldest, has made me that way.
But based on my track record, being the ‘Mom’ of a group also means that people don’t like telling you things sometimes because they don’t want you to be ‘disappointed’ in them. Which kinda defeats the purpose of having friends. I mean, you usually tell your friends stuff you wouldn’t tell your parents, right? But if a friend has quite a parental role, you’d shy away from them, too.
I don’t know. That’s the logic I assume runs in their minds.
It’s a strange handicap in a way, because while you are seen as the ‘nurturing’ one, you’re also seen as the ‘judgy’ one. Maybe that’s why people don’t always like hanging out with me.
What role do you have in your group of friends? Or do you think the fact that there are perceived ‘roles’ is a silly concept?