fourteen days

Hello, dear reader.

I’m taking today off from the 30 day meme because frankly, I cannot think of that many artists I’d like to see in person. It ended up being a list of my favourite Broadway performers, which I don’t think is quite the point.

Instead, today I think I’d just write about what’s been going on with me because I feel the urge to put words out there. So in a way, this week’s round-up is this.

Two tutors gave me personal feedback this week during our evaluations and the feedback I got was great. Sure, it was pretty much the same general statements that the tutor fed to all my other group members, but it felt good while I was getting it.

“I’m sure you’ll do very well in whatever you specialise in. Don’t let MBBS be your end.”

“You are really good at personal skills. You have a lovely smile and great laugh. Never let that fade. It’s what will draw people to you. You’ll go far, I have no doubt.”

It’s nice having someone believe in you, especially when you’re at that point where you don’t quite believe in yourself.

I have nine days till my exams. I am shaking in my boots. It’s all so near, it’s all so quick. We were given the briefing for our final exams this morning, and I swear, my heart was beating so, so hard. I am genuinely terrified. I have so much to lose, it’s unbelievable. I am at the cusp of becoming a doctor. These are my final exams in my course. After I pass those 5 days, after I get into Year 5, that’s basically it!

I’ll be a doctor.

I’ll be Dr. Grace.

And that is thrilling and scary. I have so much depending on those five days. My whole life can change! My life is hanging on my actions to make those five days, the best five days I have ever had in medical school. There is so much ahead of me. I have such a great year planned out for 2016.

I just have those finals standing in my way.

I’m going home tomorrow for the study break because I need to be home for this. I need to be comfortable to do whatever I want, to study wherever I need, and to get hugs when I completely lose it. I’m spending the rest of my night packing before I make that trip up tomorrow afternoon.

I pray that I can do it. I pray that I am capable of making it into Year 5 next year. I pray that I have the willpower to get through the next nine days with focus and determination.

Fourteen days till I’m done with Year 4.

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