1.Write a blog post about the things you do when the internet is shite.
2. Spend way too much time playing the dinosaur-jumps-over-cacti game that shows up when a page cannot load on Google Chrome. My high score so far is 556. Yeah. I’m that good. It takes a while to build up to that number. Can you tell I am quite acquainted with it by that number?
3. Question whether SPOTIFY premium would be worth the RM100+ a year. And then be almost tempted to get it before chickening out at the last minute. Shut up, that’s a lot of cash. I can live with the adverts (most of the time). It’s the offline listening that I would miss out on.
4. Reread storybooks that I have stashed in my room. Yes, I should be reading medical books but I’m thrash that way. Sarah Dessen over an Oxford Handbook any day.
5. Question if mobile data would be a good choice to switch to because your WIFI is clearly crap. But then again, mobile data would be much much much more limited. But it would work most of the time. At least you hope it would.
6. Stare at the strands of hair on the tiled floor. Don’t judge, everyone’s hair drops. It’s only far more obvious if you have white tiles as floors and not sensible wooden floors like normal houses. Apartment living, what can you do?
7. Turn the WIFI thing on your laptop off and on repeatedly, hoping that it might suddenly be active again. You know this is a pointless activity but you do it anyway.
8. Make to-do lists. These are the things you know you will never do although they are reasonably important. You keep these lists for the fun “PANIC NOW” nights when these items are due the next day.
9. Sleep. Yes, your life revolves around the internet. If there is no internet, sleeping is the next best option.
10. Rewatch one of the movies you have on your laptop. No, you don’t even bother to take your external hard drive because that requires effort and we all know energy is best conserved for the marathons of YouTube videos.
11. Acknowledge that you can do work in the mean time but refuse to do any. Again, your life revolves on your WIFI signal. When it’s down, you are the epitome of a flatline.
12. Consider what a wonderful life you had before you were addicted to the Internet. Consider quitting it especially when it’s being a prick. Consider the more human connections you can make without it. Consider how simple everything would be if it wasn’t invented.
13. Thank goodness the internet is back. #blessed