Last week’s Five Friday was about 5 Things You Should Never Be Apologetic For. I thought it would be good to write follow-up piece; so, here are 5 Things You Should Always Apologise For.
1. Bitching About Someone’s Family
Your friend may talk trash about her sister. She may say that her sister is the worst person ever, she wishes she was never born, she hates her guts, etc. YOU however, SHOULD NEVER bitch about someone’s family. No seriously, if you start, you need to stop. You need to back pedal and apologise because no one truly hates their family that much, not enough to allow their friends to say things about them. And if they do hate their family, it’s not your place to hate them, too. If you have ever said anything against someone’s father or mother or grandparent or whatever, you take it back immediately. Even if you think it, you don’t say it out loud. I flinch each time someone says ‘Your parents didn’t teach you manners’ because sometimes, parents do teach their kids but their children are a poor reflection of that. Do. not. insult someone’s upbringing, ever. If you have beef with someone, keep it with that one person.
When I flake on someone, I am very apologetic, especially when it’s a last minute thing. People have set aside time to be with you, or made an appointment specifically for you. Like so many people, I bail on things but I never fail to apologise for them. And believe me, a heartfelt apology goes a long way sometimes.
3. Insulting someone’s opinion
I don’t mean having a rational argument about it. I don’t mean when you sit down and calmly discuss something. I mean, when you openly attack someone for disagreeing with you on an issue. It may be something you’re very passionate about, be it political views, a moral standpoint, or even whether you shipped Harry with Ginny or Hermione. If you have ever exploded at someone for standing on the opposite side of the fence, apologise. It’s not worth having someone be pissed at you over something you could have discussed in a calmer setting. It would only serve to fuel their belief that your opinion is wrong because it made you a more volatile person. There is a difference between making your case and simply going all ‘Christian Bale in that clip from the set of Terminator’ on their ass.
4. When you hurt your pets
I genuinely mean this. Have you ever accidentally stepped on your dog’s foot? Have you purposely shouted at your pet for doing their ‘business’ where they shouldn’t have? I am guilty on both accounts, and as stupid as this may sound, say sorry. What you may have said and done in the heat of the moment will only make your pet fearful of you. They’re basically your friend and will love you consistently. They’re animals, they make mistakes. As much as you’re pissed at them sometimes, apologise and ‘make amends’ in whatever way seems appropriate. I find that sitting with my dog and petting them while saying how sorry I am in a calm voice helps. I don’t know if I speak for all pet owners, but I feel like my dogs appreciate it more when I say sorry.
5. When you think negative things about yourself
You know how you know that you need to say sorry to someone when you have obviously hurt their feelings by your choice of words? It’s this sickening feeling in your gut when you know what you did was very wrong. I think the same should apply to when you say cruel things to yourself. Apologising to yourself sounds silly, I know. But it’s therapeutic when you have a negative relationship with yourself, via self harm or just berating yourself with mean comments. You deserve to love yourself. You deserve an apology each time you put yourself down. Say sorry to your body, say sorry to your soul. A lot of the time, the people that hurt us the most is ourselves. If saying sorry to another person is healing, what about saying sorry to you? I think we should all start doing that. Look at the scars you have inflicted on yourself, physical and intangible ones, and think about what you would say to the person hurting. Apologise and forgive. That’s the first step to recovery.
What are things you feel people should always apologise for? Or have I listed something that you disagree with? Let me know in the comments or on Twitter. x