Mortality is something that I have always been familiar with. I think my first direct experience with death is when my dog died when I was 3 years old. It was quite a horrific death, an image I can never get out of my mind. Lucy was our white Chihuahua, quite a small one and she was mauled to death by our neighbour’s dog. I remember that day clear as day. I remember her body.
I think Death has always been close to me, so to speak. I was the one to find my other dog’s (Julius) body when he died. I have had a few encounters which could have gone either way, and yet, I am still here. That is partially the reason I have an inclination slightly more morbid thoughts or even extreme paranoia about circumstances.
The acknowledgement that death is inevitable is something I have always had. I knew people die, I knew your pets die, I knew plants die. It’s a normal process of life. But acknowledging and truly allowing things to ‘set in’ are two different matters.
I have spoken about this before, but the death of my former Sunday school classmate did hit home very hard, and this year, the death of my friend’s father on that tragic flight was also a big realisation. I don’t think I have ever felt it as acutely as I did these last 365 days.
I could die at any moment and so could anyone I have ever known. I think you can never truly understand it unless you have that ‘moment’ when you really feel it in your soul. I think those of you who have had that sort of a loss will understand what I’m talking about. It’s different from just understanding the normal cycle of life.
It’s something else entirely.
What’s the point of this post? I don’t know. Maybe it’s just something to think about; about the things in life that we want to achieve that we have not, and how when faced with the reality of our own mortality, we may find ourselves filled with regret over missed opportunities.