eternal question

friend

I don’t normally do this but here’s another post about relationships. You know the popular question “Can guys and girls be just friends?”. It came up at dinner tonight.

It’s Saturday night, I went for dinner with the people I go to church with; my housemate (the girl) and 2 of our guy friends in the medical school batch, A and L. The topic of conversation was our mutual friend B, who was ‘chasing’ another girl (also a friend), C. C considered B as a regular friend but B didn’t see it that way. He constantly spoke about her, he asked her to prom (he got turned down, naturally) and now, he hates her.

So, one of the boys I was dinner with, A, stated “I don’t think guys and girls should be too close. If not, something happens. Either the guy falls for the girl, which happens in most cases or vice versa, though that’s really rare.”

Where do you stand on this matter, dear reader? I’m inclined to agree with him. No, I have never been on the obvious receiving end of a romantic attentions but I have seen it and felt it for myself. I have had guy friends that I spent time with that I ended up developing romantic inclinations. I have never acted on them, but then again, there is this unspoken rule that the ‘guy makes the move’. If they had asked me out, I sometimes wonder if I would have said yes.

But that’s a whole other matter.

The whole ‘friendzone’ matter came up too. L said that girls always use guys and guys help because they are chasing that girl. Again, this is a sweeping generalisation but there has to be some truth in it for that statement to be made. Are men wired to only lend a hand if they’re after something? I don’t know. As a girl, I know I help people because I want to help them and not because I hope they’re secretly harbouring a crush. I remember reading an article once that stated in one study done in University of Wisconsin, researchers found that while women were generally not attracted to their male friends and saw the relationship as strictly platonic, the men usually had romantic feelings for their lady friends. Not only were the guys more attracted to their female friends, they also mistakenly believed that the feelings were mutual, and they were more willing to act on their perceived mutual attraction.
The study concluded that women generally think guys and gals can just be friends, while men secretly hope the relationship can become something more.

You tell me, guys and girls: just friends?

Sometimes, I really don’t know.

 

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