I was inspired by Carly Heitlinger’s post here about Truths (yes, with a captial T) in life. Being home for the past 3 days have given me something to think about. Here are my Truths, things I have learned along the way, on my journey to almost being 22 years of age.
Fake being happy, even when you’re not.
Mindy Kaling once wrote “Sometimes you just have to put on lip gloss and pretend to be psyched.” I have found that you just have to smile sometimes, pretend to be okay when you’re not. No, I’m not talking about hiding your feelings away. I’m talking about pretending to be happy because there is a time and place for you to be unhappy. Do not bring a sour expression into a group session, do not bring your drama to your workplace, keep it for your private time. Or even, if you’re having the shittiest day and you have to go meet your best friends or your family for something, shove those crappy feelings away and fake it. Deal with your stuff another time because bringing bad energy to important things just makes it worse for everyone. I’m guilty of being the negative one a lot of the times, especially when I’m having my own emotional ups and downs. I have learned that it’s useless to be lousy to others when you’re feelings lousy yourself. It just ruins everything.
Sometimes it’s worth paying more for something of quality.
I’m terrible at spending. I used to be so particular about getting my money’s worth that I didn’t understand the meaning of it. With time, I have learned to think of quality over the quantity. Like in buying shoes or bags, I look for something that will last instead of what’s cheaper. There is no point buying something that’s temporarily saving you money but breaks down in a short while. You’ll just end up buying it again and spending twice the amount.
Everyone deserves respect.
This is a no-brainer, or at least it should be. Respecting other people and their opinions isn’t easy when you’re pretty stubborn yourself. Even if that person is a sweeper or is sillier (in your opinion) than you are, R E S P E C T! I try to do this. I don’t ever want to talk down to people, I don’t want to bully someone. I have had first hand experience of what judging people does to relationships. No one likes the person sitting on a high horse. There’s this nice quote my mom pasted on the wall “Never look down on someone unless you’re helping them up.” Everyone deserves to be heard, everyone deserves the same amount of care, regardless of status or money or religion or whatever. Treat others the way you expect to be treated.
There are no shortcuts for important things.
This applies to relationships, to assignments, to planning a trip. Place enough care in things that matter. Take the time to talk to your family or your friends instead of expecting them to be waiting for you. Take the time to set a schedule for your work and COMMIT to it instead of cramming the night before. Take the time to prepare for events instead of rushing out in the last minute, hopping to put on your shoes. There are no shortcuts, end of story.
Speak up for what matters to you.
If you’re in a group that pushes someone around and that makes you uncomfortable, stick up for that person. Don’t be a follower just because it’s the popular opinion. People appreciate it when you appreciate them. Speak up for people, speak up for your beliefs. If you think a plan is stupid, say that you do (sure, word it politely). You may find other people who feel the same way. There is no use grumbling after that, it’s just wasting your breath.
It’s okay to not know stuff.
I’m pretty proud in that sense, I hate being the one who knows nothing. I like to pretend I do. But very much like the lost person who drives around refusing to ask for directions, I have had instances when I, well, “open mouth, insert foot”. It’s better to have ‘no shame’ and ask instead of acting like you completely understand. Even if you get laughed at, what the hell right? It won’t matter to people who care enough to be your friends.
Those are what come to mind right now, anyway. I doubt I’d change my opinions on these anytime soon. There are just somethings that never change.