a miserable post

I disappear from WordPress for over 2 weeks and there’s a makeover. Dang.

Anyway, I need to apologise to those of you who actually follow this blog because I have been MIA for more than my usual hiatuses, without warning too. I was home, then I’m back in JB. It’s not fun transitioning from 2 weeks at home to my 2nd week in the 2nd semester.

First of all, when I was home, I had my stupid dog (she peed on my bed again, okay? i have a right to be mad at her) to play with. I could bake whatever, cook whatever, go wherever and see my family and friends. But here, I’m more restricted.

Secondly, I did buy a few nice things when I went back to Subang and my prick of a housemate has decided to nitpick at everything I have now. Honestly, it’s getting on my nerves. No, grating my nerves with one of those fine graters people use for lemon grass root to make ‘ayam masak putih’. I can’t stand it. I feel like snapping back about how he owns fancy things too and I don’t nitpick at it. Is there a problem if I have decided to get stuff for myself? Are you that insecure that I can’t buy the same crap you have? Seriously?

Thirdly, I got my results back from the last semester’s paper and it wasn’t great. I have wallowed in that pool of crappiness again being the ‘unable to cope with my own rubbish’ sort of person. To top that off, my Pathology tutor said “You tend to be quiet and sometimes appear to have spaced out. Be more focused and participate more. You do know your stuff at times but just hold back. Come out more and you will sail through.” I know that she means well and that it’s mostly advisory in nature, but I can’t help but feel disheartened by it.

I have another summative MCR next Thursday with a tutor notorious for being very invasive into his student’s personal lives (to put it bluntly, he likes to ask about their sexual preferences and their sex lives, be it present or absent. Crass, if you ask me). I dread it. I just hope that half an hour will end as fast as it starts.

I had today off so I didn’t set an alarm, but ended up sleeping in an extra hour only than my usual ‘wake-up’ time. I had an enormous breakfast, so to speak. Granola with milk, a PB and J sandwich and one those small bottles of Yakult. I normally just drink a cup of hot chocolate or something but I was comfortable this morning, only to feel annoyed by lunch time. I sometimes wish I was alone in this apartment to do whatever. As always, I would like that alone time.

The most productive thing I have done today is 45 minutes of exercise. I forgot how good you feel after sweating a whole lot and being able to breathe. I do this thing where I exercise for a few days and then give up completely. I know I should do it but I don’t, which is stupid, there’s no other word for it. But when you fall, try, try again right?

On a completely different note, someone on my FB timeline has kindly posted this with regards to showing a bra strap and men’s reactions to it. For the most part, I agree with her that men should change their mindsets about simply seeing a part of a woman’s clothing but she had to end the whole thing with this :”if you so eagerly want to rape, there’s always prostitutes for you”. I doubt prostitutes want to be raped. That is absolutely tasteless. A whole lot of women forced into that ‘business’ have been abused and kidnapped, taken away from their families or even sold by them. Advising rapists to seek out a prostitute is not in anyway helpful or feminist, despite the general tone of her statements. seriously? Rape? Not funny in any way.

okay, I’ll stop.

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