I’m back in Johor after a weekend that simply flew by. I hugged my dogs, helped clean up the house because it was in a state, had good meals and a wonderful time with best friends. I won Jersey Boys tickets but it’s on a date that I won’t be able to watch, so those are going to Aaron.
Spending time with Melanie and Jessica simply remind me that my COF (cult) friends are still the best friends I have ever made in person. These girls are my stronghold, even though we’ve been through a lot of crap, be it stuff that’s pushed us together or driven us apart. These girls are my best friends through everything. It was so blissful falling back into our normal rhythms, though certain levels of maturity truly shine through now. I realised that I interact slightly differently now: I don’t snap as much, I try to hold back and truly listen to what my friends say. I think months/years of having a wedge between us have taught me to readdress the way I speak to people, or at least to the people who matter a whole lot to me. I have learned that just because someone doesn’t tell you everything about their life in real time, doesn’t mean that they don’t love you enough. Jessica had big news to share that she only told me a few days before we met up and she apologised for not informing me sooner. I expected a rush of the usual emotions but to my surprise, I wasn’t angry or annoyed. I was grateful that she did share in the end, that she did want to meet up. It feels easier now when you don’t have ridiculous expectations for people.
With regards to her big news, I must say I am very proud of her. Instead of suffering like she did for the past few years, she decided to completely alter the course of her life, something I find very brave. If I were as gutsy and daring as this girl was, I would be in a completely different place right now. But we all live with the choices we make, don’t we? I’m proud of you, Jess, I really am. I hope you’ll find true happiness in your new field, because I think it suits you far better.
It’s nice to speak to people who relate to your crap and live like you do. I guess the reason I’m so close to the CoF girls are because we’re very much alike. Our backgrounds are similar, our tastes are similar and the fact that we all spilled our guts into hard-covered books on a weekly basis is the glue that will seal our relationships forever.
I am so thankful for besties that are always there. It feels so good to have people who love you, people who have your back and believe that you can do anything.
Today, my guy housemate told the other one that I snapped at him when I completely did not intend to. Nor do I remember being sufficiently annoyed. I’m just really tired and I guess that ended up coming across as cranky. Perhaps at some level, I was because I really wish I was back home. I ended up sleeping the whole afternoon away because I genuinely am exhausted. I have a few things to complete before I can go to bed, unfortunately. See? I have slept for a good 3/4 hours but my body just wants more rest. This is ridiculous.