Things have been a bit jumpy lately mainly because news about whether or not any of my coursemates and I will be sitting for supplementary papers would be out this week. I’ve been crazily checking my email on Monday and Tuesday and today. I nearly died when I received an email from the student administrative staff with the title “Further Assessment Notification 2013”. It turned out to be an email informing us that the announcement would be made tomorrow via email and only those who have to sit for further assessment will get the email. I swear to God I felt my heart stop just reading the title; it was not cool of the admin head to word the subject of the email that way, not cool AT ALL.
I think if I get the email about supps, I’d have a mental breakdown. There will be a lot of crying in my room and isolating myself from the world. I cannot bear the idea of not getting through to next year. I can’t bear the idea of having to sit for further testing. It will break me. It will tear me into little pieces, I just know it. I am very worried about it because this year has been really really rough in terms of emotional health. I have been messed up since DAY 1 of class right up till the end and frankly, my grades have suffered badly. I just want this year to be done with and allow myself to start again in Year 3. I just want this dread to end. I can’t take it.
In other news, I have my refresher course before I take my driver’s license exam (again) in about 2 weeks: December 4th. My only consolation is that once I pass this, I will still get my full certified driver’s license, instead of the probationary one, thank God! I hope I have not completely blanked out on how to drive a manual car. I am terribly ashamed of my colossal mistake this year that nearly drove me over the edge and going back to the previous paragraph, if I get supps, I will really tip over that cliff. I don’t think I’m capable of handling anything more right now.