Do you remember the time when you were much younger and you would watch these TV shows about high school students or college students and think “one day, i’ll be that age, and be super cool. I’d have this hair and where these sorts of clothes. I’d speak like this and be so good at that.”
then one day, you wake up and realise that you have passed that age or are at that age, and you’re none of that.
Where do all these thoughts and ideas get to? Where does one place one’s self when the ideal version of yourself has disappeared into the void? Is it wrong to have certain moulds that we place ourselves in, only to realise the frivolity of your thoughts, only to see them crumble into dust? Or perhaps forget all about them until some random day in the future when you realise how far you’ve strayed from the mind map you’ve set out for yourself?
I don’t like writing these kinds of posts. I wish I were a far happier person and write about the adventures I’m having in a great city and all these new friends etc etc but no. I’m not there, I’m here. And I’m dealing.