a reflection

I miss my old group from the second semester of the first year. They were alive and they made study. I learned a lot from our discussion sessions and I felt very supported by the other ten people, even if we barely knew each other at first. I miss having the intense discussions and words being thrown from one corner to the other of the learning suites. This semester.. it’s been pretty mellow. I know, it’s just been slightly under a month but I feel that this group is quite stagnant. No one really goes the extra mile and researches things. I don’t feel like I’m learning as much. 

Then again, this forces me to study up more by myself. I have to be better prepared because I can’t rely on the people I’m suppose to be able to. They don’t push me to perform better in tutorials, so we get shamed in front of the whole batch because we under perform. I hate that feeling when everyone is staring at you because you are the ‘example of what not to be’. I was from a group that used to be applauded for being well prepared. And organised. But now, I’m from a group that’s pretty much relaxed. 

Heck, my last group was willing to stay back or come earlier to practice for clinical skills but so far, this group has yet to suggest anything. I don’t know.. I miss the comfort of having people who were gung-ho. And in some ways, I don’t appreciate the fact that I have to be more independent.

But, being self reliant is part of change. And I must make do with what I’ve been given. Don’t get me wrong, they are nice people and they’re fun to be with: we laugh, we tease each other but we don’t always get down to the real work. It’s strange when everyone in the group is kinda laid back. 

Time to pick the slack unless I want to get left behind once again. I just hope I won’t lose momentum.

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