what i’ve learned so far

Your self-esteem can be very easily shattered. Being with people you’re still getting to know is not easy when you’re nothing like them in so many ways. I wonder how long it will take to get comfortable. I wonder how long it will take for me to not feel like the weird one out.

Balance is not easy to achieve. I have yet to reach the point of equilibrium. I always feel like I am simply tipping to one side all the time. All the time. I won’t lie and say that I’m coping. It’s hard.

People aren’t always what they seem. I am an extremely judgmental person and I typecast people. I do that all the time and I am always so grateful to find out how wrong I was about them.

Then again, appearances are deceiving. People may seem happy but were actually cracking under the surface. People you watch from afar fall short of your expectations because they’re as flawed as you are. Sometimes flaws help you to see past the ‘perfect shell’.

Change is forever. Nothing is static. Things enter your head as quickly as they leave. Retention is key.

I know none of this really makes sense but honestly, nothing makes sense to me right now. I’m fraying at the edges.


7 thoughts on “what i’ve learned so far

    1. Which was the most disturbing moment so far? Watching the autopsy-cadaver videos during camp. But these weeks in classes? Not the lessons but the stark difference between my classmates and I, financially, socially and mentally. I feel like I’m lagging behind.


      1. Don’t worry about it. This must be just a phase. See after 5 years or so, you can be way better than them. But the key is not to lose these 5 years worrying. As you said may be you are being judgmental about yourself too.. Let go..


      2. thanks. I really appreciate that, especially from someone who’s an observer of the situation. I do hope that I improve in this. 🙂


  1. Somewhere I used to be like you 5 years ago. The thing is I never thought about it. Comparisons suck!! Just be yourself and be happy. We will talk about this after 5 years. Deal??


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