The wee hours of the morning brings- I am human

This is not a story of a magical life or a fantasy. This is me, at 1.55am, writing because nothing else seems right to do at this moment. This is me when I’m a little hazy and a little broken.. when I’m a little too happy or too sad. This is just ramblings that I’ve decided to put here.

I am human.

I make mistakes. I make a whole lot of mistakes. I cry over the, I regret them the second I do make them and I resolve to be better.

I make people laugh. I wonder sometimes if I do that because I don’t want to feel self-conscious or because I really enjoy making other people happy.

I make people cry. Well, I’ve made my parents cry, which is the worst crime of all. Doesn’t that make me a brigand?

I make people hate me. Alright, perhaps hate is a strong word. I know people who dislike me. I know people who talk behind my back and make me cry.

I have people who love me. I have a regular family and regular friends, who simply are not regular in the way they care about me. I’m blessed.

I have love for people. I love my family and my friends; genuine affection that can stand the test of time. I love imaginary people… characters from books or shows which seems so close to me. Does that make me eccentric?

I have questions. There are days when I wonder if medicine is my calling or whether I should be a lab rat, because there are days when the latter seems more appealing than the former.

I have issues. I battle my own demons on a daily basis. I hate it when I completely crumble under the pressure of making the same mistakes over and over again. But I get up the next day and I try, once again, I try.

I seek purpose. Don’t we all look for that in life? We all want to know that there is ‘a plan’ written out somewhere so our lives here are not meaningless.

I seek inner peace. I’m tired of questioning myself and questioning others. I need to find a way to achieve a balance.

I am a daughter.

I am a sister.

I am a friend.

I am a person.

I am human.

 

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2 thoughts on “The wee hours of the morning brings- I am human

  1. I am a son.

    I am a brother.

    I am a friend.

    I am a person.

    I am a human.

    WAIT A SECOND! I am a FREE WILLY, does that make me a human or mutant?

    =PP

    Like

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