2012 Prep Day #4

I couldn’t resist. Something popped in my head so I’ve decided to write it out.

I’m keeping with my BE GRATEFUL theme from the last post. This time I want you to be grateful not for someone else in your life but for yourself.

On a weekly, if not daily basis, I hate myself. I knit pick and find some sort of issue with who I am as a human being. We all do it. But my mom told me something just a few days ago which made me stop and think. She told me I was nearly not born. You see, when my mom was carrying me, she had some bleeding, which as you may know, is not part of the whole pregnancy process. My father’s first response? “If the child is not healthy, it’s best to not have her.” I was nearly aborted. I know, it seems harsh but my father was speaking out of ignorance. No mother wants to be told that her child, who has yet to see the world, was to be torn up to little pieces just because the kid wasn’t healthy. My mom refused and so, here I am today. To think that I would not be around if my mother had been a pushover is kind of scary. Maybe that’s why I have always felt strongly about being prolife.

But let’s not get sidetracked.

The point of all that was that I realised that I love existing. I love being alive and experiencing all that I’ve been blessed with. I love being able to feel all these emotions. I love having such beautiful friends and family who love me. I love being me. No one else can say they’ve been through what I’ve been through. I’m unique. I’m the product of two minorities in this country so that makes me a minority of minorities. I look different, I act different and I see things differently.

And guess what?

So do you. You are different. You are completely individualistic. Nobody in the entire world is exactly like you. Sure, we’ll find people we can relate with, some more than others. But in the end, you’re just you and no one else. No one can replace you, no one can be you, no one can react the same way you do. Without you, the world would be a different place. Without you, so many relationships would not exist. Without you, your teachers may not laugh. Your friends may not be friends. Your sibling may have been the only child. Your boss would lack a good employee. Your boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse would be lacking their other half.

Be happy with yourself. I know (And if you’re a regular reader, you know this too) how the simplest of things can bring  a person down. I know how, on many occasions, it’s so easy to tear yourself down. “I’m not skinny enough. I’m not pretty enough. I’m not smart enough. I’m not tall enough. I’m not talented enough. I’m not creative enough. I’m not enough.” I’ve told myself the same damn things many times too. Imperfections come with the design. There are kinks that need to be worked out along the way. You are meant to fall and cry and complain and scream and make terrible grammatical errors like using the word “and” too many times in one sentence. It’s all part of life.

I don’t promise that I won’t complain about some crappy moment in the future. In fact, I promise that I will be back here, pounding away on the keypad, with tears running down my face over some bad moment I had. However, I’ll do this every single day and I hope that you do too:

Start the morning with the determination to make it a good day for myself. I promise to try my best in all  I do. I promise to not compromise on my beliefs. I promise to try harder and to be better than yesterday. I promise to face all challenges and if I fail, I promise to accept defeat graciously and maybe have a little cry; but after that I’ll get up again and start one more time. I’m going to appreciate who I am and work to being the best version of ‘me’.

It’s not real advice. It’s just something I’m going to do. No one else can do ‘you’ like you can. Love who you are and work on who you want to be. 2012 is nearer now.

It’s a new dawn,

It’s a new day,

It’s a new life for me

And I’m feeling good.

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