messy

I woke up in darkness
Surrounded by silence; oh where
Where have I gone?

So lately things haven’t been going according to plan. The mock A-level exams are next week and I am still struggling through my subjects. I feel completely foolish right now. I wish I could shoot myself for some reason. Its so ridiculous how silly and useless I feel. Somehow I never keep my word. I never get to focus my mind to what really matters. I never put my heart and soul to the things that matter.. or should matter the most. Instead, I get distracted and fall into my old ways. I bet you.. you’ll be able to find posts like this in the arhives on the right hand side of this page; many many bitter posts about me hating myself.

But I need to learn to forgive my own stupidity. I need to learn that I am fallible in more ways than one. I must understand that I am just a human being. I need help from Someone way above little me.

You shattered my darkness
Washed away my blindness
Now I’m breathing in and breathing out
I’m alive again

lyrics by Matt Maher, Alive Again
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One thought on “messy

  1. If you think that you’re foolish, wait till you see what I’ve got to say in the upcoming post. I’m sure you’ll feel slightly better after reading it..cheer up gracie! all the best for the exams! really looking forward to seeing you next weekend! 🙂

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