March 12, 2014 § Leave a comment
You know that thing I’m doing for Lent, the 40 notes/letters for 40 days? I finally wrote one to my dad and one to my mom. It’s silly that I put it off for that long, they should have been the first people I wrote to. But anyway, I wrote them a letter each and I thought I could share them on my blog:
To my dad:
Hello Daddy.I just wanted to write this because I think it would be good for both of us to read it.I wanted to say Thank You for sacrificing so much for me. It means so much that you’re still working at this age, that you’re willing to wake up so early in the morning to go to work, that you’ve done so much for the past 24 years for this family. Thank you for doing your best and supporting me. Thank you for giving up comfort so I can pursue my dreams. Thank you for always telling me that I’m your “number 1″, I used to laugh that off as a child but it means so much to me. Thank you for putting up with my temper and my harsh words. Thank you for buying me anything and everything I want and need, be it those Barbie dolls when I was a child or all my medical books, rent, Broadway musical tickets and other stuff now. I know you could have had an easier life, I know you could have chosen to take things easy but you didn’t, for my sake and for Aaron’s sake. I am so thankful for you. Not many fathers do what you do, been through what you have, dealt with all those annoying corporate people, just so you can provide for your family.It means a LOT. a WHOLE lot. I love you so much and I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I will study hard for you and for mom. You both inspire me every single day. I promise that I will make you proud.I miss you guys, and see you this Sunday.
Dear Mummy,I am writing this because for Lent, I’m writing a note/letter to every single person who has had a positive impact in my life/changed it for the better (in no particular order of course), so naturally, I should write one to you.I wanted to say thank you. Thank you for being my mother. Thank you for giving birth to me especially when I wasn’t the easiest pregnancy. Thank you for choosing to stay at home and teach Aaron and I. I think I have such a solid foundation because of you. i owe it all to you. Thank you for being strict with me during primary school. Having you boss me around is the reason i got straight A’s in Std 5 and 6, and mostly through secondary school and beyond. Thank you for not giving up on me. Thank you for staying up to make sure I do my homework. Thank you for doing my art projects and for joining the PTA. Thank you for giving me my faith, faith that means the whole world to me. Thank you for always pushing me to perform and participate in things. I wouldn’t have done a lot of that if it weren’t for you. Thank you for bearing with my mood swings. Thank you for calling me out on my crap when I am in a bad mood. Thank you for bearing with Daddy’s temper for so long, when I know you could have walked out at any minute. Thank you for being the best example of motherhood and of being a wife.. of being a true Catholic and a gracious human being for me. There is a reason people think I’m a nice person; I chalk it up to watching you. Thank you so much for being the person I can talk to about anything and everything.I miss you so much, I miss seeing you every single day. I love you and Daddy very much. I promise to make you proud of me, especially this year. I couldn’t be where I am now without both of you.I love you and see you on Sunday,Grace
Could you guess that half way through both, I started sobbing. I love my family so much, it’s ridiculous. No, it’s not. Everyone loves their family like crazy. I just never really wrote it down. My parents have worked so hard and so long for me, more than a lot of people have. I’m not saying that other parents don’t work hard, I’m just saying most families have been through the crap we’ve been through. If I were to go into detail about how much nonsense my mom and dad have put up with, I could have a Hallmark movie. They’ve each gone through so much, SO much. And they still are, to provide for me. It kills me on a daily basis because I know that at their age, they could have retired. They could be relaxing. But they’re not. And I want to show them that it’s worth it. That I am worth it.
March 11, 2014 § Leave a comment
I love that my darling friends from places I have never been to are so wonderful as to send me things. B sent me stuff from her New York trip again. I can’t wait to put them up on my wall. It means the world to me.
I woke up 10 minutes before my usual time of departure from the apartment so it was chaotic for me. My phone is now set for possible SNOOZE button hits, with multiple alarms. I don’t trust myself anymore.
March 10, 2014 § Leave a comment
I was talking to a patient who was readmitted because of pleural effusion post chemotherapy on Sunday and it broke my heart to have her cry. The last time I spoke to her about her breast cancer she was strong, she said it’s something she has faced bravely and didn’t shed a tear. But on Sunday, about 3 weeks since I last saw her, she cracked. She told me that she is forced to smile and laugh on a daily basis because she doesn’t want to hurt her family by showing them how much she’s hurting, but it kills her inside. It meant so much to me when she said that she found that she could talk to me, ME of all people. She told me that in her stay at the hospital all the doctors, nurses and other medical staff have been kind and supportive, which is what she needs to get through her day. It was one of those moments you really understand the function of being in the medical field: alleviating pain, both physical and mental.
Sometimes, that thought is enough to get me through stuff. Then, I have days like today when I wake up and cry because I feel like I’m so crushed by the weight of the work. I really wish I could find a balance between both. That’s important.
March 8, 2014 § Leave a comment
I have a colleague (haha, colleague) who’s working on the weekends at this coffee shop opposite Galleria so my housemate and I popped over after lunch today. And I had my first cup of coffee ever. I am not a coffee drinker, not fancy coffee or straight black coffee. But since we were there, I thought why not. So based on her recommendation, I ordered a latte.
I don’t like coffee. Is that terrible to say? I’m not a coffee person. I like the hint of coffee but straight-up coffee, it’s not me. We ordered an affogato (and got extra ice-cream, haha) which turned out nice. See, I can handle a shot of coffee. A whole cup? I’ll pass.
Moving down to JB has forced me to socialise more. I’m actually going out tonight to learn to play mahjong. See, Grace is “living”. My brother would be so proud.
In sadder news, thoughts to the poor families of the passengers on MH370. Pray for those on the flight and for those waiting for news. I never want to know this horror.
March 7, 2014 § Leave a comment
That’s the card RaeWae sent me. I absolutely adore it. It gives me a little comfort when I miss Lulu.
March 6, 2014 § Leave a comment
Stuff happened today.
The consultant I have this teensy crush on spoke to us for a bit. Well, AT us, really, because none of us dared to speak back. That minor interaction did not help my already fluff filled head.
Today is Lionel’s birthday. I saw the notification on Facebook and it felt like a dead weight was tied to my heart. I know, I didn’t really know him that well but it affected me a whole lot.
My card from ROSL came today, which is highly exciting. I’ll put up a picture of it for tomorrow’s Pic of the Day. I love getting mail, it makes me so happy. Unless it’s bills. Bills are so depressing.
I have to get up early to go clerk patients tomorrow. I really hope I get some because I truly am in desperate need of cases.
March 5, 2014 § Leave a comment
I like Lent. It may seem a little ridiculous but I do. There is something nice about making your Lenten promises and sticking to them. It’s like an opportunity to do resolutions for God, for the betterment of your soul. If you’d like some ideas, Lifeteen has a bunch that I really like: Here are the CREATIVE IDEAS and here are the WEIRD IDEAS.
This year, I’m not so much “giving up” stuff than I am “putting in”.
1. Giving up meat for the duration of 40 days. So, pescetarian diet for the next month plus. My housemate is going to do it with me, so it’s nice to have company. She hasn’t done this before so, it’ll be more of a challenge for her.
2. Praying the rosary daily. I should be doing this but I keep putting it off.
3. Writing a thank you note to someone who has meant something to me/ changed my life in some way for 40 days. It’ll be a daunting task but I am up for it. If you hear from me asking for your address or something, you’ll know why.
4. Stop complaining so much and stop being negative. I really need to zip up and be grateful for things.
5. Take time to read the daily mass readings. I need to spend more time with God. I have been pushing my prayer life and my relationship with God to the corner for so long because of “classes”. But I really should learn to find a proper balance.
I have my first formative MCR today, so, yeah, I’ll be going with a cross of ashes on my forehead. Hopefully my tutor will get it if she asks about it. Ash Wednesday mass at 6.30am, so I’m gonna be up at 5am. Oh well, start the day with the Lord!